![]() ![]() But what is certain is that USC and UCLA will be hated not for eternity, since that’s unquantifiable by scientists, but for the next 10 trillion years, the predicted life of the universe. Whether the Pac-12 survives is speculative. It was USC that plunged the knife in the Pac-12–in the manner of an infamous Trojan alumnus–and left the conference bleeding out on a dark and lonely byway. USC and UCLA–a runaway train that is ruthless, careless, and heartless. The primary villain is USC UCLA is the homely friend just tagging along, but every bit as sleazy. The University of Snakes & Cretins and the University of Clueless Lunatics & Addicts are abandoning the Pac-12, of course, and carpetbagging to the Big Ten in 2024. I suppose that’s harsh, but I figure that those two psychopaths can handle having the Menendez name further besmirched by tagging it with the Trojans and Bruins. The once “Conference of Champions” has been transformed into the “Conference of Cloak and Dagger but Mostly Dagger,” thanks to the two backstabbers, USC and UCLA, who have all the integrity and charity of the Menendez brothers. These days a more appropriate name would be the Not-So-Pacific Conference. Let’s skip those tedious games for now and look under the hood of the Pacific-12 Conference. I’ve sat through lectures on molecular physics that are infinitely more interesting than this week’s slate of contests. Without the Ducks on the schedule, today has all the appeal of anchovies on wilted Romaine, topped by grated Limburger cheese. My goal in this weekly feature is to give gridiron comfort and aid to fellow Ducks fans, and if I can inject entertainment and elicit a few laughs along the way, all the better. Statistics, simple truth, and spoofing are the arrows in my quiver, and as an ex-cop, I’m well-practiced in taking effective aim at my targets. I don’t subscribe to the philosophy of “Northwest nice.” If you’re a Ducks fan, you can look forward to the first of many game-day burns on Oregon’s opponents. ![]() If you’re a Bulldogs fan, you might want to tell all your friends–and stay well away from this website. I’ll have more to say next week about Oregon and Georgia. The SEC loves to feast on football’s weaklings. Yes, wallflowers are often closet bullies. For non-conference games, you’ll probably find them at home on a Saturday pummeling some hapless pushover like UL-Monroe, Samford, or South Carolina State. ![]() SEC teams, for all their braggadocio, are football’s wallflowers. Next Saturday, a watchable game finally takes place, only because Our Beloved Ducks are flying 2,189 miles to mess with the Georgia Bulldogs in Atlanta, a neutral site that in all honesty is about as neutral as fluorescent-pink hot pants.Ĭoaxing Georgia out of the South is like trying to pry a flamingo from the jaws of an alligator. I didn’t mean to make that rhyme somehow it just happens all the time. If it’s pomp, pageantry, and high drama you seek, you’re going to have to wait another week. (And yes, that includes you, Florida Atlantic, and ex-Oregon coach Willie What’s-His-Name.) This is officially Week 0, presumably because of the number of zeroes that are playing. Is college football going down the drain? From the looks of today’s 11 flushable games, it well could be, if only temporarily.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |